Fear of Flare
I forgot what “normal” felt like. To wake up with no pain, hopping out of bed with a spring in my step, those days are long gone... I’ve learned to maneuver around the pain, stiffness and swelling. Adjusting my diet and taking copious amounts of supplements helped manage the discomfort but still daily activities weren’t always easy.
Meditation and RA medication
After a few months of self-managing my RA, I decided to try meditation. A round of prednisone followed by twice daily pills of Plaquenil. My rheumatologist had informed me that the Plaquenil could take up to 3 months before I would see any changes. You can only imagine my excitement when I woke up one morning and hopped out of bed without hobbling. I’m sure the pills had been gradually working but at that moment ... I felt it! I was sleeping through the night, working with barely any discomfort! Miraculously I felt like me again! The “me” I remembered, the “me” I missed!!
Is the Plaquenil no longer working? Do I need more prednisone? Do I need more cortisone injections (I get these in my hands and wrists)?
Or... Is this another flare??? It gives me anxiety to think about it. Being a single mom and a hair stylist, I literally can’t afford a flare-up. I need my body to function so I can work. I need to work to pay my bills. It’s a vicious cycle.
Fear of RA will not take control
I’m an anxious person and I hate that about myself. I don’t want to live in fear of what RA can potentially cause in my future. I try to live in the present, appreciative that I can still do what I’ve always done (with a few adjustments).
On a scale of 1(low) to 5(high), how difficult is it for you to talk about having RA?