Mother of Mood Swings
Lately I’ve been fascinated by zodiac memes online (especially the roast ones). I’ve never been superstitious, but it’s like these people know me... And I am a horrible person! I can’t help but scroll through social media, reading about my character flaws based on the stars.
I am an Aquarius. I was born at the beginning of February. The main characteristics for this Aquarius are I’m annoying (yup!), I’m opinionated (double-check), I can be a grade-A bee (I like to say I just speak my mind) and, now, the topic of this article: I bottle up my emotions until they explode all over the place (wow, they pegged me).
Experiencing mood swings with RA
I am a closed-off person. I strongly dislike talking about my emotions and I keep them to myself. I remain pretty even-tempered until I can’t take it anymore and experience a major break down. I immediately zip up the tent door and hide for another six months until the next one.
These mood swings are pretty out of character for me. This is not something I’ve dealt with in the past. Sure, I had triggers but I didn’t go from happy to sad or angry without a reason.
Is this who I actually am or is this from my RA?
I go from cheery and productive one morning to lethargic and upset that same afternoon. Then, straight back! Is that the Aquarius in me or is there an outside force?
Do medications play a part in emotions?
I often wonder if my medications or even my rheumatoid arthritis play a part in my mood.
I know for sure the Prednisone I take daily really messes me up. One of the most notable experiences of this was at the beginning of my RA journey when I, accidentally, forgot to take my meds sometimes. One day I was in a rage. Anger radiated off me. I snapped at everyone and nobody was safe from my wrath. My father called me out, as only a father could, and point blanked as me “Why are you being such a b*tch??” “I don’t know!!! I can’t control it.” After a few seconds, he looked at me and asked “Did you take your Prednisone today?”
Lo and behold, I had forgotten to take it and missing the dose wreaked havoc on my mood. I never forgot to take my meds again.
My symptoms might also be impacting my mood
On the other hand, what if it’s just down to the disease. One of my symptoms is pain. Pain messes me up. It makes me grumpy and honestly, I believe It can permanently re-wire my brain. Has it made me emotionally volatile? Probably! When I am not in pain I am in better spirits but if I am, look out world, there is no telling how I’ll act.
Whatever the reason, I have become the queen of mood swings. Any given day, I can run the range of emotions for no reason. It seems like its par for the course with rheumatoid disease or any chronic illness that requires medication and constant vigilance.
Do you get mood swings? Let me know in the comments!
On a scale of 1(low) to 5(high), how difficult is it for you to talk about having RA?