If You Can’t Do It Standing Up, Try It Sitting Down (Stuck In A Rut)
I recently had a job interview, and I wore one of my favorite business-y shirts; the one that I feel the most confident in, which, ironically, I can’t get out of by myself. I considered wearing a different shirt knowing that my boyfriend wouldn’t be home to help me until many hours after the interview. But I felt good in that shirt, so I decided to wear it anyway.
I got home and made every effort to get out of the shirt, but nothing really worked. I could have either ripped the thing in half or cut it off myself, but it really is one of my favorite shirts, so neither of those seemed like ideal options.
The odd thing is that I remember buying the shirt alone, and unlike other fitting room misadventures that I’ve had, I don’t remember not being able to get out of this particular shirt myself. But whatever the case, I can’t get out of it on my own now.
I started having a moment of panic; that I would have to go to bed in the shirt, and when my boyfriend got home, he would have to wake me up and get me out of it.
For me, that felt like a new low…
It’s demoralizing. It frustrates me to no end that I am not able to complete the simple task of getting undressed by myself.
At 29 years old, I shouldn’t need help with this. It makes me feel simultaneously like I’m 80 years old, and regressing back to being an infant.
Ultimately, I got the idea that I should try and get the shirt off by taking it off while sitting down. I had no confidence that this would actually work, but it did. I was able to get the shirt off when I sat down. I didn’t have to worry about my boyfriend coming home and finding me asleep in bed, still dressed.
However, there are many times where it feels easier to just let him help me rather than get myself in a tizzy.
It’s not easy to admit that you need help, especially when it comes to tasks that should, in theory, be easily accomplished.
I’m glad that I am able to take something like this in stride, but it’s still painful to deal with. It brings up feelings of inadequacy and self-worth. It makes me feel like I can’t take care of myself.
On the other hand, this experience has taught me that if at first you don’t succeed, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again.
On a scale of 1(low) to 5(high), how difficult is it for you to talk about having RA?