My story and struggles

I was recently diagnosed with RA. (About 6 weeks ago to be exact) At first I was a little shocked, I had always heard about RA but never really knew much about the disease. As most people I just figured it to be like regular arthritis. That was until one day I woke up in so much pain that all I could do was cry. Every joint in my body was in extreme pain and the slightest movement made it worse. This continued for about a week straight until I reached the point I couldn’t take it anymore. I went to my regular doctor who did blood work and revealed that I most definitely had RA. I met with a rheumatologist about a week later who did more blood work and tests. When I met with her again she said my blood work showed all my markers were extremely high and I had a pretty severe case of RA.
It’s been about 6 weeks since my first meeting with her and it has definitely been a roller coaster of a journey. I am still trying to manage pain and dealing with symptoms that vary from day to day. Every day is a surprise. When I wake up my mind is already thinking and wondering as to what challenges will we face today. My boyfriend and family have tried to be a supportive as they can but sometimes they just don’t get it. They don’t know what struggles it is for me to get out of the bed and get my body motivated for the day I have ahead. Or how hard it is to do the smallest tasks like brushing my teeth, getting dressed, or trying to put shoes on. And as if that’s not bad enough I can barely sleep. It takes me hours to fall asleep and then when I do fall asleep I wake up after a few hours and often find myself staring at the wall at 3 or 4 in the morning.
One of other major things I am still trying to get use to is the loads of medication I am taking every week. It drives me crazy to think about what all these pills can be doing to my body. I know my doctor is just trying to find a regimen that works for me. But I often find myself thinking is this what my life is going to be like from now on? I am consuming about 50 pills a week. (A combination of things that I have to take each day)
As a woman who just turned 32 I often find myself overthinking this disease and what it is doing to my body. I know I must deal with it forever and it drives me crazy. Everyone says better days are yet to come but I find it hard to believe that. Sometimes I feel so alone because no one I know can relate to what I go through and when I try and explain it to them I can see the judgment all over their faces as I know they think I am exaggerating.
I am very appreciative for finding this website and being able to read the stories of others. I apologize if this is so long and I appreciate you taking the time to read my story and any feedback that is given.
Thoughts and prayers,
Natasha

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