Skip to Accessibility Tools Skip to Content Skip to Footer

No family support

It all started waking up one day with insect bites on my body I surmised it may have been a spider. For days I felt so sick the bite marks burnt and were very itchy. My lymph node under my arm was swollen like a gold ball. Ever since that day I have not been right, constant back and forth blood test after blood test until finally 2 years later I was told I had arthritic autoimmune. The GP was not sure on the exact type but looking at my symptoms she is very certain I have RA. Being told this news was a major blow I’m in my late 30’S, have 3 children a husband who works hard enough as is. But I still broke down cried felt so cheated. But the hardest part of all was the lack of sympathy and support from my mother.
She saw me crying and said why was I crying I told her I had bad news and I was scared. Basically I was being dramatic and I needed to “get over it” later when I tried to discuss with her the nature and that “did you know that you can die from RA” well basically she laughed at me and said what a load of sh*t. I was floored that my own mother would be so nasty towards something that I really am so fearful of. Even now as I write this I’m stuck in bed feeling like an old woman. Scared about my scan as my liver is apparently not good and I don’t know who to turn to what to think what’s going to happen when I see the specialist about the nature of what I have.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.


  • Ed Burgoyne moderator
    2 years ago

    Hey Willowbell, Fellow RA victim here. As you have posted your story here, I can only assume that you have also snooped around the web site and if you have not done so yet, go check out the Facebook page. I am sad to hear that you are struggling but glad to hear that you now know what could be the cause of your issues. You now can work our a plan with a doctor on how to move forward.
    If you only remember one thing I am writing to you, it is that RA does not mean it is the end of the world for you. Life will go on. You will learn to make the best of each day while hiding little aches and pains with a smile in your face. If you have read other stories here, you should see that RA can be a nasty unwanted companion who wants to take over your body and spirit, but you would also read that so many others have the beast under control and are doing quite well.
    Having a disease that does not show itself to others can be difficult at times. Things like “You don’t look sick.” may be what you may hear. Do your best to educate those closest to you and hopefully disbelief will turn into compassion.
    Please take care of your health, eat well, pay close attention to what your body is saying to you and even keep a log or note book of how things are going and bring it along with you on your rheumatologist visit.
    Take care, keep visiting here and best wishes to a speedy solution.

  • Erin Rush moderator
    2 years ago

    I am so sorry you don’t have a lot of family support, Willowbell. A lot of people do not understand how serious RA truly is. The name often brings to mind Osteoarthritis, which is caused by wear and tear on joints. Many of our members hear, “Oh, my Grandma had that!” But, RA is a very different animal from OA. Have you had a full diagnostic panel run to confirm a diagnosis of RA? You can read more about the testing that is used to diagnose RA here — RA in and of itself does not usually cause liver damage; that is potentially caused by various medications used to manage RA symptoms. Please know you are welcome here anytime you need some extra support or if you have any questions or concerns. Thank you for taking the time to share a part of your story with the community. And I hope some of your family and friends learn more about RA and are able to offer you more support. You are welcome to share any of our articles to help educate others. Here is a basic one on exactly what RA is — Best, Erin, Team Member.

  • Poll