“You’re too young for that”

Hi I am 21 years young I was diagnosed with JRA when I was 9 it started when I noticed it hurt to run up the stairs at my home. I played basketball at my school and was in dance classes. Of course after telling my mom about the pain she took me to the doctor and that’s when I was diagnosed. The doctor however told my mom that I shouldn’t be playing basketball or dancing, that it’s bad for my joints, so naturally I got depressed to go from healthy to all of sudden being sick.
Well time went on I got the pain and I would see random changes. I grew a cyst in my wrist which doctors told me was from my RA had to get removed since it grew to big. Then my jaw it started hurting when I was 16. I couldn’t bite down very hard or open my mouth very wide to eat, ended up going to a dentist of course something else the RA caused which I really didn’t think about until the nurse told me about how her dad could barely open his mouth because of it…I cried of course. My eyes continuously get worse every year. I’ve been on and off meds after reading all the side effects I get scared stopped taking them just tried dealing with the pain even on the days I couldn’t walk. Fast forward to after graduating high school I went to school to become a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA) and eventually got a job at a nursing home. I always wanted to be in healthcare. Well of course there were days I was in pain they were always short handed so i would sometimes have to work 16 hour shifts. A couple of the nurses there would torment me. “Why do you walk so slow” “why are you always so tired” and the classic “You’re too young to be feeling like that”. If only for one day I could let them feel what I feel almost everyday maybe they would understand. But I can’t change them. I was there for a year but I had two miscarriages so on top of the arthritis I became depressed I thought it was from the lifting the stress the medication so I stopped working as a CNA. But I have recently miscarried a third baby so i don’t know what it is. Anyways right now I’m going through probably the worst flare up ever and I don’t have an appt with my Rheumy till August 6 months from now! There is only one in my city I’m trying to find a new one but with all the hours I work and my fatigue I have no time or energy to find another.

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