As the title says!
My name is Lauryl and I was diagnosed with RA in Feb of this year. Since then, I’ve been put on 10mg Methotrexate and then 15mg methotrexate. I’ve stopped taking prednisone (which I was on in dec. while waiting for test results) and the main is certainly more manageable now. I mostly have pain in my right hand, last three fingers, as well as sometimes on my right foot, first three toes. The methotrexate gives me awful brain fog though and I’ve been getting lots of colds lately that make it hard to sleep– as well as night sweats, unless I sleep with a fan.
I’ve bounced between feeling optimistic and terribly, terribly pessimistic. Tonight is a very very pessimistic night. I’m worried that I’m just poisoning my body with this methotrexate and I’m fighting a losing battle that is already robbing me of my 20s. I’m terrified that my RA will progress aggressively and I’ll be disabled before even starting my career. My doctor, who is a very kind, supportive man, assures me that because we caught my RA early before any joint damage, he thinks we can prevent it in the future so my prognosis is good– though my anti-ccp was very very high. I try to remind myself of this, that as long as I commit to a treatment plan, I will be able to live a full life. But right now it really doesn’t feel like it. I’m 23– quite young, and not so wise, with no idea what my future might hold– so what I really need now is to hear that this isnt the beginning of the end of my life. That treatment can work. That people who have had RA for years and years are coping with it.
Your story doesnt have to be perfect– I know that people come onto these forums in pain themselves. You don’t have to have a flare-free life or been in remission for two years or something. The statistics about being disabled after 5-10 years scare me is all. They scare me, and I would like to know that there are some people out there where it’s not the case. I also welcome any words of advice for keeping spirits up. I know that’s probably a super important part of fighting RA and I definitely could use it.