It’s so hard watching my wife going through the pain each and every day. She is on so many prescription medications including high doses of opioids for pain. I have to manage her pain meds because she doesn’t handle them well on her own. A part of me dies a little bit every time I see her in pain. I am getting exhausted with this. I have always been very helpful and caring for her but now resents her and is always angry. So I am looking for a live-in caregiver for her from any nearby agency( http://www.diamondpersonnel.com/for-families/eldercare/ ). How much will it cost to hire a caregiver?
I am really sorry to hear that your wife is struggling so much and I understand that this must also place an additional burden on you. The first thing I would recommend is that you and your wife speak to her rheumatologist about the amount of pain that she is in – because it may be possible to make some changes to her treatment plan that would improve the situation for both of you. If you feel the rheumatologist is not being as responsive as you would like, it may be time to seek a second opinion.
As for hiring a caregiver, that is a question that unfortunately we cannot answer as it would depend on the agency. You may want to consider checking out the Family Care Navigator of the Family Caregiver Alliance – which helps family caregivers locate public, nonprofit, and private programs and services nearest to you: https://www.caregiver.org/family-care-navigator
I also want some suggestion. I want to hire a caregiver for my grandpa and I am a bit confused whether it will be a right decision to hire the caregiver because I don’t trust any stranger easily. But I don’t have any other option. What should I do? Help!!!
Thank you for writing KathyrnCarnes, the decision to hire a caregiver and how to go about it can certainly be a complex and difficult issue. You may want to ask your doctor’s office if they have any suggestions for local organizations and resources that you could contact for information.
In addition, you may want to take a look at this site for the Family Caregiver Alliance National Center for Caregiving for additional information and support: https://www.caregiver.org/. Wishing you the best. Richard (RheumatoidArthritis.net Team)
I don’t know your religious beliefs, but sometimes we overlook a church organization or a nearby pastor, rabbi, or priest that could have possibly handled this same issue with other members. In addition, if you aren’t a member of a local church, you might just check with one that is nearby where you live. I know this won’t answer all your needs, but it may lead you to someone who has more experience in the area where you need help.
If you live in a larger city, there are usually organizations like “Neighborly Sr Service” (like where I live) and they have a bus to pick people up, they have people who are involved daily with many types of care or support groups. It is difficult to begin the search for help because unless you’ve had to do this before for an older member of your family, it seems like it is a big spider web of agencies and phone calls and call backs – some good and some not so good and frustrating. Be careful choosing an agency. Check references, BBB, etc. Maybe contact a local hospital and ask for the nursing supervisor, or a person who helps people leaving the hospital when they need assistance at home with continuing health care. Every person’s needs are different and individual, so there’s no “one size fits all” I’m afraid.
I wish it were easier to begin the process When you’re so tired from trying to do it all yourself, just taking that first step can seem like a mountain. But once you find an organization that can advise you, you have a “partner” who can share some of the burden of getting reliable, affordable, kind and competent healthcare for your wife.
I have RA and Osteoarthritis as well as Glaucoma and Wet Macular Degeneration and I am single. In some ways I was lucky that my sister and I had to go through the process of finding help for my mother as she traveled deeper into her Alzheimer’s. We learned so much about healthcare and what to expect. Now that I am reaching the point of needing more assistanceofor myself as my diseases progress, I feel as though I have a good start at knowing where to go and what is available. Being single with several chronic diseases can be challenging to say the least!
Being a caretaker is never easy, I remember that task with both of my parents, but it can be done, and you’ll be surprised once you get help, that you will have much more paience and empathy that you need to deal with your wife on a more “husband’s” role and not just as her “caretaker”. Give yourself permission to grieve over the loss of the lifestyle that you and she imagined for yourselves and children. Possibly get counseling for yourself so you can better understand the expected demands made on caretakers and how to best get though these changes without feeling guilty or angry at what has happened to you as a couple (blame the disease — never your wife).
It’s a challenge to say the least, but you have made a first step by finding this website that has many people in similar circumstances. They are sure to have some great ideas to keep your search going forward toward the best solution of what is needed to help you and your wife’s situation.
Best of Luck to you and I’ll be around hoping you find some good advice from a very helpful and caring group of people on this website.