As said, I was diagnosed many many moons ago, when free America Online discs littered the streets and computer monitors were as big as a house. Decades, and I can tell you that I have been where you are. The emotional and mental component of living with a chronic illness like RA can be an entire separate battle in its own right. It took me many years to find ways to overcome "the blahs" as I call them, and I still get them for a few days here and there every month or two. It's totally normal! We have an illness that basically traps us inside our on bodies and there is literally no escape. It is, of course, going to make you feel all types of ways about everything and if you add in the fact that you are trying to start a family, well, the emotional and mental stakes are ratcheted up to 11! The main thing that got me through a lot of tough times is telling myself that even though it feels like it will never end when you are in the worst of it, it always ends. Something ALWAYS comes along and changes things. Sure, it might not necessarily be night and day better but it will be different and, sometimes, that's enough to get through to the next change when it might actually get better. I know it's difficult to believe that when you are feeling like garbage day in and day out and you are sick and tired of being sick and tired but just know that it will end. That old saying, "this too shall pass," has persisted for generations for a reason! 😊 All of that plus you are not alone! People like me and Richard and everyone else is here to help however we can! Let us know! Keep on keepin' on, DPM