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Rheumatoid Arthritis and Intimacy

Hi Everyone!

I've recently been thinking about how RA has impacted intimacy with my partner, and I was wondering if is something any of you have experienced as well?

I was diagnosed in 2016 at the age of 28, although I had been living with symptoms for most of my life. My now-husband and I were already dating at the time, and although we had been intimate up until this point, he wanted to understand if this new diagnosis would impact our experiences or ability to be intimate, and if or how he could help in the process.

Ultimately, I've found that living with RA requires a little extra communication with my partner, but that intimacy can still be enjoyable, relaxing, and even pleasurable.

I even wrote this article with some tips on how to talk to your partner about limitations or changes in intimacy due to living with RA:

https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/intimacy-partner-communication

Now, I wonder...

How has RA impacted your love life and/or intimacy?

Has RA had an impact on your intimate relationships?

How has intimacy changed for you since being diagnosed with RA?

If you want to read a little more about my story, you can find it here:
https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/support-body-intimacy

Warmly,
Amanda

  1. Yes, Esp early in the am intimacy. It takes a bit for my meds to kick in and I am just not in the mood until they do! Then, all is well for the most part...

    1. , well, especially since mornings can be a bit rough when you have RA (gotta work out that morning stiffness and pain), it's not wonder that mornings are not your most amorous times of the day! It's kinda hard to get in the mood if you are in pain or feeling stiff.

      I am glad that things can proceed well once those meds kick in!

      Best, Erin, Team Member.

    2. I find this as well! We are mostly intimate in the afternoons or early evenings as thats when my body seems to move best and when it feels more natural to connect. Thank you for sharing this! Warmly, Amanda, Team Member

  2. Agree that early a.m. intimacy is a bust for me. To be frank, as I’ve recently been with my husband of 40+ years, that while I enjoy being intimate, achieving orgasm is difficult. Medication, discomfort, pain, fatigue can prolong the time it takes to reach orgasm. Then you can add in frustration (couple of meanings intended). At times the effort to get that result just isn’t worth it which I mentioned to my husband. I can hear some of you gasping in shock! Being that honest was pretty difficult, but a relief. Thankfully there are other ways to be intimate and loving with each other that we’ve figured out along the way. He really is the most special man. ❤️

    1. I actually so appreciate your sharing this and know that it will resonate with other community members beyond just myself. I love that you and your partner have found other ways to be intimate and that it has sustained your connection - isn't that what the core of the purpose of intimacy is anyway? I hope you have a gentle day. Warmly, Amanda, Team Member

    2. YES! It doesn't have to be "standard sex" - THIS was one of the most important things we learned as a couple in the last few years - what brings us both joy and fulfillment and connection - whether its physical or emotional or even mental. I'm so glad you mentioned this! Warmly, Amanda, Team Member

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