Unpredictability and the unknown - RA Triggers
Something that doesn't often get talked about is how the unpredictability of RA affects the stress levels, and thus the triggers, for our rheumatoid arthritis. I often cite a study where lab animals were given shocks on a schedule in one group and randomly in another - the group on a schedule got used to it and went back to life, while the random group never got used to it and basically ended up with all kinds of stress-related issues. It is the same with our RA! The unpredictability makes it impossible to plan and creates tons of anxiety! How do you feel about that and how are some ways you deal with it?
, thanks for this post/question. This aspect of RA doesn't get a lot of attention. While I marvel at spur of the moment, spontaneous sorts of people, I function best with routine and a plan. RA mucks with my need for planning and routine on a regular basis, which creates anxiety and frustration, which then makes my RA cranky. Disappointing people adds a whole new layer of angst.
After almost 2 decades of this disease, I might be getting used to it. I am learning to be OK with, "Nope, that's not happening today."
My husband helps take some of the pressure off of me. For instance, when friends or family call about getting together, he will often accept an invite but finish with, "It will depend on how Mary feels." That used to annoy me but I know it's his way of taking pressure off of me and reminding others that no 2 days look alike.
Hi
. My wife, Kelly, is right there with you on wanting to plan. I might argue that she is the queen of lists and plans. In fact, I just did a quick search using this page's search engine at top left and most of the top items that show up under planning are from Kelly because it is such an important part of her vocabulary 😀. But you know what, if that is what makes things work and helps control life with RA for her then I am more than o.k. with it.
Also, one thing you learn over time when making plans with other people is who you can count on to understand the unpredictability of life with RA. Some friends truly get it and, if anything, are amazed at all the things Kelly does manage to do. One thing is for sure - the one thing no one with RA needs is pressure to meet anyone else's expectations. Best, Richard (Team Member)
No truer words
. You do learn who understands the nature of RA and who is clueless. It's often a surprising and painful lesson. I will remember your last sentence. I don't have to carry the expectations of others or my own self imposed expectations around with me. I do the best that I can each day and let the rest go. Thanks! Hi
. Thank you so much for the kind words. Doing one's best each day is all anyone can do - why should those with a chronic condition like RA have even more expected of them. Plus, what is sometimes "best" is taking that break or day for selfcare. Best, Richard (Team Member)
The way I deal with it is by gaining more anxiety that I have to tamp down. Haven't yet learned how to do that except to "ignore" the situation for a little bit while I absorb it and figure out a work around for the situation. Then it becomes a "new normal". Egad, how I detest that term!...when none of this should be "normal"!
Hi
. I don't know if you have ever heard of the term "leveling up," but our patient leader Daniel wrote about it here: https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/leveling-up-resilience. It describes how when a situation arises a person adapts, moves on and then when the next situation arises they do it again and it gradually gets easier. Daniel discusses the good and the bad of leveling up, but overall how it makes one more resilient. I hope this term can have a better connotation than "new normal," but would completely understand if not completely. Best, Richard (Team Member) Leveling up is a better term then new normal. Thank you for the link, I'll give it a perusal. 😀
