I Don't Have Time for This!

This week is difficult. I’m having a small flare and a few more things.

What I'm currently going through

Coping with grief and loss

Mother’s Day is in a few days. My mother died 3 years ago. I do not like Mother’s Day anymore. I celebrate joyful memories of my mother every day. The two weeks prior to Mother’s Day always bring sadness. I miss her. I miss lunches together, going places together, and talking together.

Change in supervision

I have a new supervisor at work. She is a micromanager. I have been in my field for 35 years. I created my current position from the ground up and have worked it for 9 years. Suddenly, she feels I am incapable of making decisions or doing my work without intense scrutiny. In addition, she now wants to dictate my hours and force me to fill out forms for leave.

It’s a full moon!

It’s a full moon week! People are acting nutty, driving crazy, and bugging me! I don’t care what research says about full moons not having an effect on people. That research is wrong! I see it all the time. Just ask any teacher, nurse, or social worker.

Dealing with “normal feelings” while having RA

Do you ever feel like “normal feelings” impose on your coping with rheumatoid arthritis? I do.

I just don’t have time to cope with that and deal with rheumatoid arthritis. Sometimes, coping with “normal stuff” makes my rheumatoid arthritis symptoms worse. This is especially true with grief and job changes.

Some days are harder than others

While we deal with normal stuff every day, some days are harder than others. So, is it the stuff or rheumatoid arthritis? I think it is both.

When rheumatoid arthritis is difficult, the normal stuff seems more difficult yet less important. I know rheumatoid is always difficult! It seems that the days when rheumatoid arthritis is at its worst are the days that normal stuff tries to push us to pay attention.

How do we cope?

Today, I would love to choose. I would choose to take vacation days and rest my body for a week. Then, I could cope with the “normal stuff” and get it out of the way. Returning to work after Mother’s Day and the full moon sounds good.

But, there’s this little thing called “reality”. I need the job so I can pay the bills, take care of my sons, have insurance, etc. So, how do we cope?

Balance is essential

Balancing rheumatoid arthritis, other autoimmune diseases, and the normal stuff is like walking the balance beam. I always hated that gym exercise. I am tall and it’s a long way down if you fall. One side always feels heavier than the other.

Prioritization and making good decisions

We have to practice good decisions. For me, this means taking care of my rheumatoid arthritis (and its friends) every day. If I don’t do this, I cannot cope with the “normal stuff.”

When “normal stuff” comes, I make sure to get extra rest. Though this seems like it would take away time to cope, it actually helps my cognitive function. Then I make better and quicker decisions. Taking a day off sometimes helps as well. I always take my mother’s birthday off.

Please share your ideas on balance and choice.

Virtual hugs and blessings,
Mary Sophia