You know how sometimes someone’s stomach hurts after a meal. The more you think about it the more certain you become that it’s the cause of food poisoning, then you start to feel ill? Also, when you see someone vomit all of a sudden you get supremely nauseous as well?
Have you ever wanted something so much that it came true? Made a wish on a shooting star or at 11:11 (make a wish!)? I have! And, occasionally those things did come true!
One of the biggest lessons my father ever taught me was that as a human being I had the ability to get better. I could suck royally at something yet, with a little patience and work I could become a master.
Mind over matter.
I learned if I thought I could, I could. No argument.
I find myself constantly willing my Rheumatoid Disease away; especially on the days I hurt most. I sit, as though I am meditating, and just think really really hard that I am completely able-bodied. Does it work? Sometimes! Actually, probably not, but I sometimes convince myself it does!
Am I alone in thinking this? I don’t know if I’m just super naïve and honestly believe I can make myself go into remission or whether I’m just dumb (it could very well be a bit of both or more of the latter, heh).
In recent articles, I’ve written about pushing my limits, not asking for help and overall trying to ignore my disease and push forward like everything is hunky dory. There is a huge part of me that just can’t accept my new normal. Why is it so difficult for me? Is it because I am sero-negative so there is always that seed of self-doubt? Is it because I am too stubborn for words?
I spend a good portion of my day willing the RA away and of course, it never works. I’m like a tick that even after totally filling up with blood from the host, continues to feed past its limit (I found a tick on my dog the other day so that’s where that random analogy comes from).
The role of stress
Stress plays a major trigger in my RA symptoms. Stress is an emotion, one I can control by different outlets. A positive outlook on life generally means a bunch of good things follow. Same goes for a bad mood. If I keep a calm demeanor everyone follows suit. If I can control all these circumstances with just my mind why can’t I just think my Rheumatoid Arthritis away?
I mean, as it goes, and this will probably get placed in the “Monica, you’re an idiot” category” but even while in flare I push myself. I feel the strain, I feel the possible repercussions but I still fight. My body is screaming back at me, telling me to stop but I don’t listen. And then, guess what? I’m okay afterwards, even the next day.
So, is there something to mind over matter? Can I telekinesis my symptoms away?
On a scale of 1(low) to 5(high), how difficult is it for you to talk about having RA?