Time for a New Rheumatologist?

In August 2019, before Covid-19 exploded and the world was overtaken by a deadly pandemic, I lost my rheumatologist. It was a devastating blow when he first told me the news during my final appointment with him. After 12 years working together, and forming a strong doctor-patient bond of mutual trust and respect during those years, my rheumatologist was retiring.

Saying goodbye to my trusted rheumatologist

When he dropped the bombshell on me, I cried out, "Nooooo!" and threw my head back in despair. This was a ridiculous, melodramatic move on my part, but it was my first reaction to try to make a joke of the situation. But it wasn't a joke and I was truly in despair. I couldn't believe that I was going to have to say goodbye to someone who played such an important role in my RA journey and my life.

After living with RA for 25 years, and dealing with all of the other health issues that constantly pop up alongside it, I have spent time with a lot of different doctors and healthcare professionals (HCPs) over the years. But swirling in this vast sea full of HCPs, my rheumatologist stands out as one of the kindest, most patient and respectful doctors I've ever had.

No question was too silly, annoying, complicated or irrelevant for him. He always made time for me, treated me with absolute respect, and made sure that we worked together as a team. Rheumatology and the entire medical community lost a great doctor and human being when he hung up his white coat for the last time. I'm forever grateful to him and he'll be forever missed.

The quest for a supportive doctor-patient bond

After my rheumatologist retired, I needed to get established with a new doctor. My rheumatologist referred me to another doctor in the same clinic, so I decided to start seeing him. I believe I saw him at least a couple times before the pandemic erupted. Dr. P. was in his late 50s, I guessed, with gray hair, glasses, and an attempt at a whimsical/quirky tie. He was very nice, polite and professional. Maybe a bit too professional, I thought. Or, "formal" might be a better word.

He kept calling me "Ms. Lundberg" even though I told him to just call me by my first name. Now, almost four years later, he still calls me "Ms. Lundberg." I gave up on the name thing a long time ago, and tried to ignore how impersonal and sometimes robotic my new doctor seemed. Would we ever have a real connection? Would he get to know me as well as my former rheumatologist? Would we become a true team, fighting the pain and sickness of RA together? I had a lot of questions, concerns and doubts.

The challenges of finding a new doctor

Fast forward to today. Sadly, I strongly feel that the answers to the above questions are all "no." And because of this, as well as the (mis?) management of my RA, I feel like it's time to find a new rheumatologist. And I do not want to do it. Finding a new rheumatologist can be really arduous and tough. Firstly, because of the nationwide shortage of rheumatologists. This shortage is also a big part of the reason why I'm dissatisfied with my doctor--he is overworked and doesn't have enough time for me (and others, I assume).

It's a funny thing: I get job opening notifications emailed to me daily, and many of the jobs are at the University of Minnesota, and one of the job listings is for a rheumatologist. That's my rheumatology clinic! Whenever I see that pop up, I think, YES! HIRE MORE RHEUMATOLOGISTS! Hire more doctors, please, so that my doctor will actually have time to see me. I'm tired of most of my care consisting of sending MyChart messages back and forth with nurses. I need to be able to actually talk with my rheumatologist and see him IN PERSON on a regular basis.

The rollercoaster of emotions in finding new providers

I realize that Covid-19 wrecked havoc (and still is) on the healthcare system and that clinics and hospitals everywhere are understaffed and struggling. So, I don't know if I'll be any better off finding a new doctor. Will it be worth it trying to change? Whenever I think about this, I feel a huge heavy weight crush my entire being. Again, I don't want to deal with it. But I need to, because I want to be as healthy and active as I possibly can, with my RA stable and under control.

I just lost 2 other doctors in my life who have helped me a lot and have been crucial to my overall care and health. When excellent doctors leave, especially if you have a good connection with them, it's so daunting to try to find new providers. Most people probably aren't aware of the rollercoaster of emotions that go along with this: loss, grief, anxiety, depression, frustration, anger, helplessness. But, as much as I don't like it, time marches on and life moves forward.

People leave. People leave all the time in life, which I have a hard time accepting. Hopefully I can find the strength to move forward now and find a new rheumatologist who I can have a real connection with, and who wants to work in a true, supportive partnership together.