When People Just Don't Get It
Recently, my boyfriend and I had plans to go to the movies with another couple.
I hadn’t felt good all day. I alternated between napping and feeling awful, but managed to rally when it was time to go to the movie.
Unbeknownst to us, the other couple had purchased their tickets online.
We hadn’t, and while it wasn’t opening weekend for the movie we were planning to see, when my boyfriend and I got to the theater, the movie we were there to see was sold out.
And believe it or not, there was nothing else playing around the time of the movie we wanted to see.
We waited for our “friends” to get to the theater, and when they got there, we explained the situation.
They told us that there were a few other theaters around that might have something we could go see, but we didn’t really find anything.
And while we were trying to figure out what we were going to do, our “friends” told us they had to go so they wouldn’t be late for the movie.
Although they encouraged us to stick around so we could meet up with them after their movie was over.
My boyfriend and I walked around for a bit, checked out a few stores, and ultimately decided to head home. I was pretty sure I could make it until the movie got out, but couldn’t guarantee that I would be up for several hours of hanging out beyond that.
This is probably just poor etiquette, in general, what the other couple did.
Both my boyfriend and I were disappointed in the way the night had gone and the way our “friends” had acted.
Obviously, we learned a basic lesson that if someone buys tickets online for a movie, they should get tickets for everyone that’s going, so we are guaranteed that we all get a seat.
But on a deeper level, it made me realize how little some people get my illnesses.
I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised by this because I’ve dealt with ignorance before…and often…
But it really bothered me that there was no understanding that, had I known the way the night was going to go, that I wouldn’t have tried so hard to rally and get my butt out of the house.
Clearly our “friends” were more interested in seeing the movie than how they made us feel.
It’s not just they put us out in terms of convenience, but they put us out in that I didn’t feel good, and the whole situation could have been avoided by 1) either us deciding not to go at all or 2) them getting tickets ahead of time for all of us so that we could have actually seen the movie like we intended to.
I have a feeling that if they would have gone to the ticket counter and explained the situation, they probably could have gotten a refund for their tickets.
I don’t want to make every situation a teachable one. But I really wish that I could have gotten across to them the amount of effort it took for me to make it out that night, only to have made the effort for nothing.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the time that I was out with my boyfriend. But he and I could have spent that time together any time, not just when I wasn’t feeling good.
This isn’t the first time that we’ve hung out with this couple, and they are somewhat aware of my health issues, but they clearly just don’t get it. Which makes me realize that I have to look out for myself and do what is convenient for me. The next time I feel awful, I might just go with it, and not make the effort to get out of the house, when I have no idea what – or who – awaits me.
On a scale of 1(low) to 5(high), how difficult is it for you to talk about having RA?