RA and Other Reasons to Call Your Grandma
One of the biggest assumptions people make about having rheumatoid arthritis (RA) is that you are elderly. In other words: no spring chicken. Over the hill. Gettin’ on. And other alarming phrases that describe the elderly. Bottom line: it's assumed that you are not young.
In contrast, this couldn’t be further from the truth in many cases. RA usually develops in people between the ages of 30 and 60, and women are 2 to 3 times more likely to be diagnosed.1
As I write this, I am 33 years old. I was diagnosed at 29. It’s a widespread misconception that can lead to a lot of confusion, hurt feelings, and isolation.
Discovering more in common with my grandma
However, I am surprised to find that since my RA diagnosis, although I’m not old, I have had more in common with my 90-year-old grandma who is, in fact, old. Here's why.
My Mimi is a wonderful person and grandma. Her essence is homemade grilled cheese sandwiches and Earl Grey tea poured into fancy teacups painted with purple flowers. She’s my last surviving grandparent and the matriarch of our family — very loving, caring, and a product of the time she grew up in. She wears crazy hats adorned with feathers and rhinestones and purple velvet 2-piece outfits.
Mimi is a true gem with a lot of, uh... opinions, we will call them. She has been through a lot at the ripe age of 90, so she is entitled to some complaining here and there. So, I listen to her.
It pays to listen
I listen to her tell me all about the cop TV show reruns she watches on "The Netflix" and how she doesn’t understand her smartphone. (The smartphone stress is real for your grandparents. Support them through this!)
I ask about her aging friends and what’s up with so-and-so’s estranged daughter. I get all the tea. Recently, I even won $20 at a family get-together because of my superb grandma-listening skills. (Sometimes it pays off to listen to people.)
Bonding over feeling achy
I am lucky that I have always had a close relationship with my grandma, but what’s brought us even closer is our weekly complaints about how achy we are in comparison to the current weather.
Of all our family members, I understand the most what it feels like to wake up stiff and achy in the morning. I get what it’s like to need some time to oil the ol' wheels. I think she realizes this, and it’s become a tradition that when it's rainy or snowy, I call my grandma and ask how achy she is today. And without fail, she says, "Achy as all hell."
Finding the small joys
There are so many moments where RA truly stinks. It’s a difficult disease to live and function with — there’s no denying that. However, when I think of the small gift of connecting with my grandma, it stings a little less.
If we choose to look past all the pain RA can cause, we can see small joys like an added reason to call your grandma. Like the sun clearing the fog in the early morning, it's not all bad.
Call your grandma today, and if all else fails, you can communally complain about how bad your joints hurt — together.
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