Is the Pandemic Making Me Weaker?

Like most people, I’m just trying to get through the pandemic crisis (mostly) intact. I expect we’ll all be changed, we’ll all have to recover in various ways, and the world will look a little different.

But we know that people with autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis have had some additional worries and concerns about staying healthy, whether it’s being immunocompromised and at-risk of the virus or facing increased challenges in managing their disease.

How the pandemic has changed daily life

Although I feel like my care has been good, with regular messages and telehealth visits with my rheumatologist, I still worry about the impact of changes in my life and if it is contributing to a decline in my strength and endurance that may not be recoverable.

Pros and cons of not having a daily commute

While I am happy to not be commuting 40 minutes (or more) each way to and back from work on the combined power of bus and train, I know I have lost the endurance to manage such daily travels for work. I’m happy working from my desk at home and saving energy on getting ready and commuting. It’s energy I can put back into work and life, not wasted with the fatigue, aches, pain, and stress that comes with fighting for my space on my commuter vehicles and enduring the bumps and jarring of the travel on my already grouchy RA-riddled bones.

Not commuting is a physical win for my condition, but it also means I have lost the capacity to do it. I hate contemplating restarting the (literally painful) daily commute.

Changes in strength and energy

I’m more worried about the overall loss of strength and energy. Maybe it’s just aging with RA, but I have more days where I struggle with fatigue and pain. Is it being home more? Is it doing less throughout the day? Can it be reversed? Is this part of the change in my pandemic-life or just the course of my RA?

I feel like I'm doing all I can

I knew early on when I started staying at home during these strange times, that exercise and managing my RA as best as possible would be crucial to maintaining my strength. I’ve been doing daily exercises at home. I’ve gone to both physical therapy and occupational therapy. I’ve addressed urgent health issues as they came, mostly RA-related of course.

During the warm summer months, I was able to do my aquatic exercises in my community’s pool with safety measures. Now I am going to the nearest public pool for exercise several times a week and doing my home exercises on the days I cannot.

I honestly feel that during the pandemic, I have done all I can — even above and beyond—to maintain my health. Yet, I worry that I am still losing ground.

My health is worth fighting for

I know that life with RA can mean slow loss of function and strength. I have experienced this during my 40-plus years with the disease. But I really don’t want it to be now. I want my hard work to have paid off. I want this year to somehow not count in my gradual physical decline. I want to win this fight, even if it is temporary.

Perhaps it is wishful thinking. But, I think this ambition is getting me through the pandemic in the best possible shape with my RA. It’s making me aggressive about fighting for my pool time, making sure I do those exercises and taking care of myself.

It’s teaching me that decline may be a part of RA, but I don’t have to let it happen. I can make the best of things, even during a pandemic. And my health is definitely worth fighting for in every way possible.