mlynn
"I've had a rough couple of days pain wise because my rheumatologist is adjusting my treatment. When I complained about pain this morning, my husband told me "the mind is a powerful tool" and that I should focus on good things. Jeepers. That was so not what I needed this morning. And I told him so when I had the energy."
Ugh, Iâm sorry youâve been hurting the past couple of days. And yeah⊠âthe mind is a powerful toolâ is not exactly the pep talk you needed. It's tough. Those who don't struggle with RA themselves truly have a hard time understanding the pain on both a mental and physical capacity. Sometimes we just need someone to listen and validate what weâre going through, not try to reframe it. I'm glad you told him how you felt. Itâs important that your feelings are heard. If you'd like, maybe you can share this article with him and talk about it. It's about the things we should and should no say to someone who has RA- https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/the-right-things-to-say-to-someone. I think it would be a great way to bridge you two together. Just a thought... I truly do hope things turn around for you soon! Keep us updated and stay encouraged. 
, I just want to echo Latoya's words. I do hope that your pain levels start diminishing very soon. And, I have been married for 25 years and I know what it's like when the spouse says the wrong thing at the wrong time. Ugh. I am glad you communicated clearly with your husband and I hope he took your words to heart and didn't get mad. Sigh. Some days are just hard, aren't they?
Gentle Hugs, Erin, Team Member.
, thanks for "getting it" and for the article link. I have learned that when my pain levels are high, I just need someone to acknowledge that this disease is darn hard. That's why this community is so important. I'm glad that you're here!
, your post made me smile. You hit the nail on the head about a spouse's ability to say the wrong thing at the worst possible time. I'm sure I never do that. In this marriage, I wear the halo 😀
We had more conversation yesterday and I think I was able to better articulate what I need when I am in loads of pain. Yes, some days sure are hard.
Thanks for bringing me a smile on a mighty bumpy day.We women always wear the halo đ haha! -Latoya (Team Member) , awwww. You're quite welcome. And, I, too, never stick my foot in my mouth with my spouse 😉 . And here's to spouses who love us and listen and try to do better by us.
I am glad I could make you smile!
Best, Erin, Team Member.