I feel like a crybaby!

I’m 58 years young, and was diagnosed with RA three years ago. Since my diagnosis, I believe I have had RA for well over 10 years, because the pain and stiffness in my feet, knees and shoulders now have a name. My RA doctor started me Methotrexate. That alone wasn’t working so I’ve been on Humira for the last two years. I still have aches and pains but not as frequently as before. What I do feel and struggle with is severe fatigue.

My internist started me on Lexapro a year ago for depression, which he feels will help me with my fatigue. I really don’t think its helping much because I can’t seem to function past 3:00 p.m., and some mornings I can’t get out of bed. So he asked me to take them in the morning as opposed to night.

I push through the day because I’m sick of whining about feeling fatigued. Family and co-workers ask “how are you feeling today”? I say fine because they don’t understand anyway. I don’t want to feel like I’m complaining all the time, which is how they make me feel. I feel guilty because I know people have RA much worse than me and perhaps I shouldn’t complain or my fatigue, aches and pains aren’t bad enough to justify me even speaking about it. Question: at what point can I justify my feeling so fatigued that I can’t function at work properly? I’m a legal secretary/office manager with a lot of stress, which for the past year I have been forgetful, and making mistakes when I know better. Its concerning to me. I believe that the stress of my job is contributing to how I feel with my RA. I would like to work less hours and go on disability for reduced hours. Has anybody done that?

Thank you for reading my story.

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