Fighting Every Day

I haven’t been able to work since last December. At times, I feel like my working career is over, and I don’t know if I can work anymore; it’s literally tearing me apart.

My body and I are in a disagreement

I’m built to work no matter what; it’s how I was raised. But this disease is slowly killing me, and my strong, stubborn head keeps telling me I need to work. But my body is like, "Yeah, NO." I’ve been feeling completely useless for the past couple of months. My body, mind, and soul are fighting with each other. I keep telling myself, "This is not you. You are not built like this to just sit in pity." (Absolutely no disrespect to anyone—we handle our disability differently.)

Taking things slowly and mindfully

So I’m trying to learn to listen and work with my body, as I’d like to go back to work at some level or point. Last month and currently, I’m learning to take things or tasks slowly and one thing at a time. I’ve been trying to be open to new ideas, suggestions, and my RA doctor's advice.

So I’m going to fight and not sit and let this disease destroy my mental health, as it’s not the best at the moment anyways, but I’m going to fight. I’ve recently started acupuncture and cupping massages. I’ve gone a few times now; the cupping has really helped with my back pain.

Figuring out what works (and doesn't!)

My RA doctor has set me up for infusions. I just finished my first infusions today. So I’m hoping and praying that with all my continued efforts, I can hopefully, at some level, go back to work. I have been learning what foods or drinks cause me to flare up and trying to stay away from them. I will keep fighting, and if I can get to a mutual ground where if I keep doing what I’m doing with treatments, maybe my body will allow me to work at some point again.

Finding joy in family

I just found out at Christmas time that we are going to be grandparents, and I’m beyond excited. I want to be able to play with my grandbaby and stroll around the park with her. My wife and I can babysit at times, and I really want to be a big part of my granddaughter's life.

Every day is a struggle and a fight. I will be fighting every day…❤️❤️