Lonely Vol 10.8

When you are alone with no one and you are going through the worst pain yet you at least in your life you know what to expect living with it makes you adapt.

Loneliness with RA

You go home to no one.
You eat alone.
You do everything alone.

To me this is strong to do as I’ve done it many times.

Marriage and loneliness

When your married and have some family that you think you would can talk to but you don’t because They just don’t understand... Literally they just can’t empathize with what you are saying or trying to explain how you feel regardless of the way you say it.

I can feel more lonesome when you just want some one to understand you.. get your moods, and your fatigue, your days you can’t do a thing (which has been all the time lately) they can’t understand it. It looks lazy and it angers husbands that work hard for our family and yet feel as tho as if they don’t do it that it won’t get done and he’s usually right lately.

You don’t complain to him, I can’t explain the new things happening because he’s done so much already.

Some think I can just get up and go do the errands I needed to run but I literally can’t no matter what I try...

Just another thing my husband has to do. I feel so much guilt that I can’t contribute to this family even the mundane.

I feel sorry for him and my mom for having such patience with me even tho I insisted on marriage counseling and yes it works.

Who can I talk to?

Yet you still have no one to talk to about the intense pains, the random symptoms that are hard to watch but can’t be ready for everything that can happen. It’s worse when the only thing you’re doing and you just sit in a chair somewhere in the store because I can’t finish the shopping.

I need understanding

It’s that I can’t walk without a cane or worse a cart.
It’s the only way and I hate it. I’m a chore. It’s humiliating.
You don’t have anyone who truly knows who you will be considering my changes from my diseases since they change our life.
How can your significant other truly understand that life is to change and that is the only thing you can count on. Is that my life will never be boring.

When you marry the love or life and make those vows for better or worse. The last thing on your mind is worse part.
Then the worse comes and you don’t really know how a person will react...

They vow to care for you and go through thick and thin together forever. I’ve realized words are one thing and actions are another. Some can’t handle the weight of a chronic disease. Some try and just don’t understand.

I blame no one it’s just lonely married too!

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