Oh, is there a way?

Eight weeks ago the Doc told me I have RA. I’m 48 yrs old with 6 children only one of them is under 18. I had so many dreams we just brought a house last May with 16 acres of land. It has this space of about 1 acre that would be wonderful for a garden and some fruit trees. But now it really just looks more like a dream. I am a truck driver I have done this for 26 years. I run the same route everyday 800 miles round trip 4 times a week. This is something I have done for 2 1/2 years and now I just can’t seem to get it together. Between all the pain and the fatigue I spend most of my day in tears. My family is wonderful but they are just learning as well it must be hard to go from having a mom who worked so much and still did everything they needed to a mom who can’t get out of the bed and cries over everything. It is hard for me to deal with the emotional mess I am how can I expect them to be able to cope. I can’t manage to stand up long enough to load the dishwasher how can I drive 40 tons of haz-mat down the road for 11 hours at a time. I use to take one little pill a day to control a little high blood pressure now I walk around with a bag of pills and I can’t figure out if they make me feel better or worse. It is hard to understand what you can not see it’s even harder to figure out how this has gone so bad in two months. I know this is all new to me and my family and I pray it gets better and less emotional but it is really hard to see a better day.

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