RA Fatigue is Ruining My Life

By shepete

1 min read

I was diagnosed with RA, fibromyalgia and an overlap of lupus. I also have thyroid cancer and several other health issues. I have found some relief from the joint paint after starting infusions, but the constant fatigue and stomach issues have ruined my quality of life.

Fatigue is getting in the way

Since the medication has helped with the joint swelling and some of the pain I feel like I should be doing things, but I just have zero energy. I started taking sleep medication trying to get a full nights sleep but even that doesn’t help.

Increased feelings of depression I think my depression is greater because of the fatigue and not feeling like I can finish any task I start IF I start at all. I cry every day. Friends don’t ask me to do things any more because I never know from day to day how I will be affected.Not feeling support from my spouseMy husband is not sympathetic at all. He calls me lazy and asks what I do for HIM since he works every day, takes out the trash, cuts the grass etc. I am sure to keep our laundry done, clean the bathrooms, and cook most meals, but extras are few and far between. I get it, I am a burden.He goes to none of my rheumatology appointments, or any doctor appointments for that matter. I’ve had two spinal fusions, three thyroid surgeries and go for infusions every four months. I take 16 pills a day to try to manage my different issues and I’d like to try and get off as many as possible.I’m feeling hopeless and overwhelmed at this point. I just have zero support here. I’m so incredibly sad. I hate RA.

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Effie Koliopoulos Moderator & Contributor
Hi there, <inline-mention user-id="3236464" username="shepete"/> First off, I want to applaud you for being brave enough to share your story. Going through all those things at once is not easy at all. This community here is a source of support when you are feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, sad, not supported, or dealing with the symptoms of RA and related conditions, you listed. I am sorry you are going through a bad time. I wanted to offer you some helpful resources and links if you haven't seen them already to check out when you have a moment. Also please know you are not alone in these experiences. If there is anything else you may need please don't hesitate to reach out. We are here for you. Helpful Links and Resources: <a href='https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/anxiety-relationships-family/' target='_blank'>https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/anxiety-relationships-family/</a> <a href='https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/symptoms/fatigue-and-weakness/' target='_blank'>https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/symptoms/fatigue-and-weakness/</a> <a href='https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/ra-symptom-checker/' target='_blank'>https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/ra-symptom-checker/</a> Forums: <a href='https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/forums/' target='_blank'>https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/forums/</a> Stories: <a href='https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/stories/' target='_blank'>https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/stories/</a>
Tamara Haag Moderator & Contributor
Hi <inline-mention user-id="3236464" username="shepete"/> , I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time! It sounds so hard. I know how debilitating fatigue can feel - it can be just as problematic as pain. I assume that you are contending to talk to your doctors about this. Continue to do so. It is really hard to advocate for ourselves, and unfortunately getting doctors to understand what an impact fatigue can have on quality of life often requires advocacy. I have experienced fatigue both from RA and from hypothyroidism, and it sounds like you may have a double (triple, quadruple?) whammy with multiple comorbid conditions. Also, while your fatigue may be a symptom of its own and/or caused by the sleep deprivation caused by stomach and other symptoms, your body may also be healing. I don’t know how long ago your last procedure was, but it sounds like your body has gone through a heck of a lot, and it requires a lot of energy for our bodies to heal. So your body’s healing activities may be taking all available energy. I’m sorry you don’t have support or understanding in your home. It’s easy enough to give ourselves negative messages without a partner giving them to us, so let me give you a few other messages to consider. We did not ask for this, and we would change it in a second if we could. You are courageous to face each day and even manage to cook and clean in spite of so many challenges. You are not a burden, you are an inspiration. No one asks for the burdens we receive. Just as we wouldn’t expect someone whose house has been flooded by a hurricane to handle all the little details someone who isn’t experiencing a disaster might be able to tackle, those of us with chronic disease can’t do everything on the to-do list we might wish. But that does not make us less worthy, special, or valuable. Our society puts way too much focus on to-do lists and bottom lines and way too little emphasis on the good we put into the world. You have challenges you didn’t ask for that are hell to live with, and you are courageous in facing them and facing each day. I’ve been diagnosed with RA for 20 years, and I have struggled with feeling my self worth. I wrote this article about looking at the whole me - not just the challenges but the good stuff too - and am sharing it in case it is of any interest: <a href='https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/living-challenges/' target='_blank'>https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/living-challenges/</a> You are brave. You are strong. You are living courageously with hardships that would make some people give up. And you are enough, regardless of what the house looks like. I am rooting for you and wishing you easier days ahead, Tamara
Daniel Malito Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention user-id="3236464" username="shepete"/> I know what it's like to have a non-supportive spouse. Mine ended up leaving after my RA caused cancer, apparently that was the final straw. So, now I'm doing it alone, and it's not wonderful I won't lie, but we do the best we can. Just know that what you are going through isn't unique, I know that doesn't help much but maybe it will give you some comfort. You can also take solace in the fact that you are tough and wear that as a badge of honor. You are being tested and you are coming through, and that is something not everyone can say. At this point you have to focus on what you can do to make yourself better and if something doesn't get done then so be it, it's part of having RA. Don't forget either, we are always here if you want to vent, get support, or just chat with people who get it. Keep on keepin' on, DPM
casmere Member
<inline-mention user-id="3236464" username="shepete"/> , my heart goes out to you. I am one of those that have mutiple diseases too. RA, Fibromyalgia, Polymyalgia Rheumatica, and Hypothyroidism. The Hypothyroidism goes out of wack very frequently also. So I fully understand the fatigue. At times I find it's so hard to get out of bed but I have to because I have to get my own breakfast so I can take my morning meds. to start my day of 17 pills for the day. I have the support of my daughter, son-in-law and family, friends to some extent. I am so very sorry you don't have the support of your husband. But, it sounds like you are pushing yourself through the fatigue to do housework and make meals. Give yourself kudos and most of all LOVE yourself inspite of all the diseases, and surgeries your body has and is going through. Prayers and Blessings for you always Casmere
ezbreezy Member
Hi <inline-mention user-id="3236464" username="shepete"/> , RA and chronic illnesses can feel so incredibly isolating, it's something I struggle with all the time myself. I recently was able to start seeing a therapist who specializes in helping people with chronic illness and also started virtually attending a chronic illness therapy support group. I have to say so far I have found both resources incredibly important, and huge emotional outlets. It's so important to be able to connect with people who understand what you are going through also. I think reaching out here was such a brave thing. I just want you to know that you are not alone. It feels so impossibly hard sometimes, but you have made it this far, you've made it through every impossibly hard day so far, and that shows so much resilience. Thinking of you and sending thoughts of warmth and strength!
lcresey Member
Hi, Try a Facebook group for support and understanding. I love Woman With Rheumatoid Disease Group.
Jo Johnson Moderator & Contributor
So brave of you to reach out here. I hope you can make the next step of reaching out for help from your doctor or a counselor. Do you have an Employee Assistance Program available to you? I am a strong believer in counseling. I believe it should be part of everyone with chronic pain's care plan. Not forever, but as needed. It has helped me learn to recognize my struggles and given me tools to call on. I've been amazed at how helpful it is hearing the counselor say, "What you are going through is really hard." In my opinion, if one is considering depression or anxiety meds - counseling can significantly increase the efficacy of meds, or even decrease the dosage needed.
Jo Johnson Moderator & Contributor
Hey <inline-mention user-id="3236464" username="shepete"/> , just checking in to see how you’re doing? Jo

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