Pain!

I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis February 2015. This goes along with Fibromyalgia, which I have been diagnosed with since the mid '80's. Plus I have multiple health issues, as well as a genetic blood disorder.
I stay in so much pain everyday, some days it is so hard to get out of bed, but I get up anyway! I go to a pain management doctor that I really like. He tells me I don't take enough of it. I know I don't, but I need to function. One of the meds, Plaquenil, my doctor put me on has damaged both retinas and the layer next to them. I am no longer taking the Plaquenil and have to wait to see if my eyes get better, stay the same, or get worse. I am only taking methotrexate and folic acid now for the RA. My hands and feet have gotten much worse in the past month. It's getting very hard to write and my shoes hurt my feet. I am trying "Two Old Goats" essential oil lotion and I don't see where it helps much at all. I am told I have mild to moderate RA. At this point I don't see how I will be able or function if it gets much worse.
I feel bad for my husband; some days I get rather snippy! I used to not be that way. I do try to keep my smile through all the aches, pains, and memory that has flown out the window. I get tired of hearing how great I look! If people could see past my smile and see inside they would understand. I try to keep a smile so I don't get too awfully depressed. That alone is another story!
There is so much I could say, but it would turn into a book. Trying to manage the RA and fibromyalgia alone are hard enough, but with the headaches, multiple health issues and surgeries it gets so very hard!
I am thankful my husband does try to understand, though he does get frustrated with me. And I am thankful for God taking care of me. I could not make it without him!