Searching for Answers

By RaleighB

2 min read

I suspected that something was wrong when I was about 26. I constantly hurt, I had unexplained swelling, and I was so fatigued! To add to things, I was also pregnant at the time.

Hints during pregnancy

My OB did some blood tests and said to me, "did you know you are showing a positive RA marker?" I did know that, I was told that in high school that I carried the gene for RA, but everyone said I was too young to even think about it. And as well, not everyone who carries it actually comes down with it. So I actually forgot about it, always brushing off my aches and pains as "normal" arthritis from playing sports. My wrist and hand pain from playing the flute and piano and anyway, it wasn't bad enough that it was making an impact on my life.

The diagnosis that changed everything

Fast forward to turning 39... I was diagnosed with breast cancer. With that treatment nearing its end, I noticed that my right foot was constantly swollen and stiff. I had been complaining about that for a while, but my oncologist always said it was because I wasn't active like I used to be. I was still recovering from the surgery etc.

Finally he ran a blood test and up popped the RA issue again. This time, he took me seriously and sent me to a rheumatologist. I was 44 at that time. 32 vials of blood later, I had my diagnosis of RA and FINALLY could be treated for it. I like to tell my sisters not to worry, I inherited all the sucky genes in the family... as RA does run in my family.

Support means everything to me

Here I am at 57 and still trying to figure out this roller coaster of a disease and all that it brings. Luckily for me, I have family and friends who are there to support me and can see when I am having a bad day without me having to say anything. My friends are very understanding when I cancel at the last minute, even changing plans to accommodate my pain or exhaustion level. And if there is anything they don't understand, they ask me point blank what do I need, what can they do, and can I explain what I am going through so that they can try and understand. I feel very blessed as I know that there are many who struggle with their loved ones not understanding at all.

Not letting RA hold me back

Life goes on, and I refuse to sit quietly on the sidelines. I still try and travel. My family lives all over the US and I refuse to not go see them. I try hard not to let this disease define me, however, I am not stupid enough to ignore it either and push beyond my limits. I may not be able to go visit family for the holidays, but I sure as heck can go see them whenever I am feeling better. And then we do our own holidays... LOL. I think it's about being able to be flexible, to be able to have humor about it all, and go with the flow. If this can't be cured, then I can at least learn how to work with it.

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Richard Faust Community Admin
Hi <inline-mention username="RaleighB" user-id="4604053"/>. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I loved you concluding statement about being flexible, having a sense of humor, and going with the flow. These three items should probably be engraved in stone somewhere as part of the commandments for life with RA. I believe I previously mentioned to you that my wife, Kelly Mack, was diagnosed at age two, 45 years ago. Thought you might appreciate this video she made on finding the humor in RA: <a href='https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/video/video-finding-the-humor-in-ra' target='_blank'>https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/video/video-finding-the-humor-in-ra</a>. It is great that you have family and friends who are so understanding and supportive. As the spouse of someone with RA I have a great appreciation for this and know that it makes a world of difference. As a side note, Kelly also loves to travel and probably gets me to do things I wouldn't otherwise. I think having a condition like RA helps one realize how important it is to have those moments. Wishing you the best. Richard (RheumatoidArthritis.net Team)
Erin Rush Community Admin
I am so glad you took the time to share a part of your RA story with this community, <inline-mention username="RaleighB" user-id="4604053"/>! I love that you have a great network of friends and family that support you and do their best to understand what you need. That's pretty darned awesome! I hope you are able to keep doing the things you love and going to visit famly for many years to come, even if it takes a little longer or you need to add more accommadations. And I hope you never lose that positive, can-do attitude! Thank you again for sharing! Best, Erin, <a href='https://rheumatoidarthritis.net' target='_blank'>RheumatoidArthritis.net</a> Team Member.
latoya.juniel Community Admin
"If this can't be cured, then I can at least learn how to work with it." This can be applied in so many other areas of our life. Your positive mindset and attitude are going to carry you through! Thank you so much for sharing your journey and perspective with us! Wishing you all the best <inline-mention username="RaleighB" user-id="4604053"/>! Kindly, Latoya (Team Member)