Seeing who really cares
Like many others, I'm glad I was diagnosed with RA in my early 40s, I believe I was 41. I already had fibromyalgia, I believe longer than what I knew when I look back at my younger years. It just wasn't bad and pain wasn't consistent. What I really am frustrated with is certain family and friends who don't understand and think they have all the answers and every cream and remedy they see they think I just need to try that and I'll be cured. People seem to think that we don't want to be cured and have no idea how much we try and do everything under the sun to help ourselves. And it's our fault if the cream didn't work, and I'm so tired of being told if I'd get out more I'd be healed. I don't have to hear the negatives or comments behind my back to know I'm being judged every time I miss a family gathering or social outing. They don't understand that it hurts me just as much to not have the energy to make it. I've gone once while fatigued and in pain and as much as they don't want to believe, I don't like the attention. I'm thankful to the ones who truly care and are concerned about how I'm feeling, I just don't want to be debbie downer. And lets not even go there with the posts on Facebook about medication abuse and pharmaceutical companies killing people. If a healthy smoothie could take away my pain and stop the progression of RA, hey! My blender would be hot right now. And just because I'm at walmart or was able to pull off cooking and little do they know the struggle I had doing laundry, means I'm healed then there it is..no understanding. I'm so isolated, down to my husband, our 2 girls, my mom, pops and one of my brothers who just got diagnosed with RA and peripheral neuropathy is really taking a toll on him. Our health issues have taken a toll on our mom. I don't know if my vent or story has made any sense, but I'm glad to be able to share my story with others who can relate. I get the stares from ppl when I place my disability tag on my car. They probably think I'm using someone's card illegally I'm sure. But hey, what can you do? I don't have the energy or time, nor do I feel obligated to explain. If you know me and really cared enough to want to know about my illness, the information is out here all you have to do is look it up and read, educate yourself instead of tryingto be a smart @$$, or sarcastic and hurtful. Because in your mind I don't deserve not to have to work, and what I get from disability, I earned from years of working, I went back to college, graduated with honors, while I worked full time, and taking care of my babies. I finally got my dream career, good pay and benefits, I worked my behind off reaching my goals to get it snatched from under me. Several years of work was all I got and that was a lot of off and on, but I fought with all I had 2 keep from filing disability. My last day of work was the hardest day and decision I had to make. Before that I worked 11yrs sanding car parts, working two jobs before I started school, you think they consider that? No. Well my rant is over and thanks for reading if you did. Thanks for this site. Really helpful and therapeutic. Blessings to you all.
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