What I wish people knew and could understand

I have had RA for 13 years, probably 5 more before I was diagnosed. When you ask me if I can go all day shopping with you next Saturday, and I say, I will have to wait and see. Understand that isn't me putting you off. I will truly have to wait and see how I feel that day.

If I cancel on plans at the last minute, understand that it upsets me probably more than it upsets you. I want to go places and do things, but sometimes I can't.

When you see me park in the handicap parking and get out of my car, don't judge me because you don't think that I look sick. If you could feel my knees, feet and shoulders as I walk to the door maybe you wouldn't look down your nose at me.

I am a private person and don't talk about my RA or complain, when friends ask me in passing, how are you. I smile and say I am fine. They really don't want to hear my list of what is hurting at the moment.

The biggest thing is, I have to plan my activities and rest time. If I am with a group of friends and we have been out shopping or visiting a place that requires a lot of walking. Don't be upset when I decline going to dinner with you, or on another outing the next day. I am not being rude; I just have to have time to recover

By providing your email address, you are agreeing to our privacy policy.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The RheumatoidArthritis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

Join the conversation

Please read our rules before commenting.

Community Poll

What flare symptom do you wish you could avoid the most?