I am so sorry you are dealing with this, ! A good and empathetic rheumatologist makes a whole lot of difference. Honestly, the first thing that comes to mind is try to find a new rheumatologist. The www.arthritis.org Arthritis Resource Finder (in the top right corner) can help you find doctors in your area. Or ask your primary care physician if there are any other rheumys in your area.
All the best and please keep us updated if you like! ~Monica