It Doesn't Show On the Outside So It's Not That Bad
I never realized how strong of a person I was until I realized that I hide this poison so well that people don't even realize how sick I am. If I complained every time something hurts me I would never stop talking and by not doing so, I've made it so that the people who are closest to me have no idea how bad I really feel and they don't get it at all. The fact that they don't understand how bad I feel has caused them to incorrectly think that I am not as sick as I really am and caused me problems because of it. I don't think anybody truly understands how bad it is except those who are in the same boat. Otherwise, they don't get it because they don't usually see it on the outside and people seem to think that if they can't see it, it's not that bad. I guess they won't get it until I am wheelchair bound or maybe in a mental hospital. Sometimes being a strong person can work to your disadvantage....
Hi
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and experiences. What you shared is a common theme among us living with RA. In my experience even when I told people what I was going through, vented/complained, and often overshared, it didn't always help either. Mainly because like you said, people don't really get it until they get it or something similar. I dealt with a lot I shouldn't have from friends, family etc., which was stressful but it showed me who truly has my back, but also to be ok with people. not understanding. At the end of the day, we are the ones living with this and need to do what's best for us. We can't tire ourselves over what people understand or are willing to understand. It takes those special people to look things up too and be empathetic. So please try not to be hard on yourself. Here are a couple articles that may be helpful. Hang in there, you got a community here who gets it. -Effie, team member
https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/friends-misunderstand-life
https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/forums/the-emotional-ra-rollercoaster-ride-battling-hopelessness
