New to group

My name is Melanie, will be 52 in couple months.I was diagnosed a couple years ago. I'm scared to take the meds and scared not to take the meds. I am widow. I live alone, I had a very physical job. I am a press and bindery operator and work in a print shop.. everything heavy about paper..before I was diagnosed I couldn't figure out what was going on. I was beginning to think I was crazy. I would just stay so tired, hurt, just all kind of different stuff going on my eyes bother me, couldn't remember anything, just so much with a wide variety of symptoms I was missing a lot of work I couldn't stay there all day. I just couldn't hold out.. I thought it was just heavy lifting on concrete all day getting older. but I got the diagnosis in one day with ra lupus, sjogren's disease, osteoarthritis. One Doctor MD diagnosed me as mixed connective tissue disease.After that a title wave. I got degenerative Neckand spine disease,with narrowing of the spinal canal, neuropathy, Raynaud's, tendonitis, bursitis possible carpal tunnel, numbness and tingling hands feet. haven't worked in months, I have filed for disability waiting on court date. I tried to do some side jobs for a little cash flow, like 32 hours last week, could hardly get out of bed for days in terrible pain, stiffness, swelling in my hands.I couldn't even our close them. Just need someone who understands this, much anxiety depression.