Chronic Illness Runs in My Family

Some chronic illnesses can run in the family. My dad has a form of arthritis that is chronic and inflammatory — though not RA — and my grandmother on my mom's side had family members diagnosed with lupus.

Chronic illness runs in my family

Somehow, I ended up with the genes for both diseases, but an even starker realization has struck the Advent family recently: my mom is now going through her own chronic illness struggles.

Though they aren't necessarily RA symptoms, her experience parallels my own experience in being diagnosed with a chronic illness. In this article, I want to discuss the trials and tribulations that she has been experiencing, both in a vein of expressing what all of us with RA have gone through but also to provide a different perspective for when your own close family members start developing chronic illnesses, too.

My mom started noticing something wasn’t right

What started this whole kerfuffle was my mom experiencing severe gastrointestinal issues. Without getting too graphic, she would have to spend a good majority of her time in the restroom, despite exercising a lot, drinking water, taking fiber supplements, and other preventative measures for general health. So, it was a surprise to my mom to be experiencing such a distress in the bathroom.

She did not immediately go to a doctor, as her bowel attacks came in waves. Some weeks she would be completely fine, other days she would not be able to find relief. With the general business of life, my mom chalked up these inconsistencies to a virus or something she ate.

More questions than answers

All of this changed when she got really sick a few weeks ago. She caught a respiratory virus — not COVID because she tested negative multiple times and eventually was diagnosed with pneumonia. I don't live in Florida, so I could only hear her over the phone. She sounded so hoarse and terrible that I was genuinely worried something drastic was going to happen, including hospitalization. Unfortunately, she had to go to the emergency room at one point because she could barely breathe and sleep due to the pneumonia — even when she had medicine.

While in the emergency room, my mom had a CAT scan(CT?) added to the rest of the X-Rays (is that correct spelling?) ordered for her. It was during the CAT scan where her doctors saw stool lining her colon that should have been passed, in addition to her colon being inflamed. This was obviously cause for concern, mostly because my mom had just had a colonoscopy last year and everything was deemed normal.

Similarities with RA and other illnesses

In the span of the year, my mom had developed a very inflamed colon which was extremely distressing to her. With everything I went through with RA — the constant doctor appointments, general pain, setbacks of a diagnosis, feelings of impending doom, and more--my mom has now started to experience these same things.

I've tried to be there for her and talk her through this (because no one was really there for me at first), but you start to realize how much you can't really help. At a certain point, you begin to realize that each of us is living our own lives and journeys, and that while we can ask for help, what we receive and expect from our family members might not be in line with what they can actually provide.

Living with any chronic condition is tough

What I'm trying to say is that being diagnosed with a chronic illness is tough, even with a support system. It takes courage, strength, and vulnerability to go through this pain. While I will be there for my mom in all the ways I can, I know that I can't fully and completely help her because I'm not a doctor nor someone who can waive a want to eradicate a chronic illness (as awesome as that ability would be). I'm starting to realize how complex AND embodied a chronic illness diagnosis can be.