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Need resources

Hello everyone it been about 5 years since I've been diagnosed. I will try to keep this short. I am divorced. I did it with lawyer so I lost everything. It was ok at time I was a hard working woman and could do it all on my own. I had problems with foot had surgery was off on disability from work for almost a year. I was fired. My RA in consent flare since My problem is my Dr wanted me to stay home but I was forest back into workforce. I can't go back to what I was doing. I am in so much pain brain fog etc so I don't make enough to cover bills. Have a teenage son to take care of I went for some assistance but since I work I'm not qualified also I was a homemaker for almost 20 years so I haven't paid in enough for disability I'm scared because my RA meds not controlling. I am worse everyday. Not I have multiple lumps under my arm. I am scared I can't afford a day off if it gets even more serious. I work for myself now. So I can work 6 to 7 hours a day seven days a week I make almost enough but not quite. I will figure this part out. But what do do about the future when I can't manage even that. I don't have a caretaker lost friends with the divorce then illness. Most days I don't wear a bra can't hook it and underwear I can't get them off with stiffness to use the bathroom. I was a middle class woman with all the good things as seen on tv lol. Now I'm a hair shy of a bag lady Thanks for the vent. I know most of you get it. But any ideas how I can do this alone.

  1. Hi, Thekat. I'm sorry to hear you are in this predicament. Do you have insurance? What meds are you on? I think if you are willing to take meds and can get them, you will feel better and be able to work, maybe even enough to establish disability eligibility.
    I am on Xeljanz and Pfizer provides it for me for free. There are programs to help us. We just have to find them for you.
    I hope you feel better soon. I remember those days.

    1. Hello, Thekat. So sorry to hear that your life's journey has taken a rough road. It does sound like you have been doing something to get things turned around and for that I praise you. Now you mentioned that you take care of your teenage son, and I only ask this to clearify things, does your son have special needs that require additional care from you or others? I do hope that he doing well. As I do not know where you live, my suggestions will be more general.
      Have you checked out any local organizations that work to help people navigate the world of government assistance? This would be places like community centers, church community outreach programs (you don't need to be religious to to go to them) and there may even be help at your sons school. There may also even be some support groups in your local area for RA where you can go.
      If you have or can get a prescription for medications you may qualify for an assistance program from the drug maker themselves to help with the cost of the medication.
      Having RA as you know is not an easy thing to deal with, but it is a fight that must be fought wisely. Some days it can be difficult to take good care of yourself to keep as healthy as you can because if you start to let your health slip, that is when RA starts to fight harder. It really bothers me when I read or hear about people who are battling a disease and are having great difficulties taking care of themselves.
      Please visit ( often to read up on RA, helpful tips, and to share information with others.
      Best wishes, Ed B. ( Team Member.

      1. Ythank you both for your replies, Doing the best I can. Just seems like a lot has been thrown at me. I did get insurance again. But now it was deni d for some reason today and I got a bill from dr saying all my expenses not covered. Ugh a new thing to worry about It's the long term I'm worried about. Since I'm starting from scratch at a late age I have no house retirement anything to fall back on. It's day to day. Don't know how to do it. I just don't know how to keep it all going. I have no one to lean on No circle of friends I'm not fit and fun anymore. Most just quietly disappeared but the last one was honest said I was embarrassing shuffling and my hands looking bad and I lost my quick wit. I was kinda shocked Any way. Thanks for the vent

        1. I know what you mean. I have three friends left. I got ditched by a 73 year old. I'm not kidding.
          I went through a similar thing because I can't keep up with the things my friends do. I simply cannot do them and I can't afford them either. I am never going to run a half marathon, post a picture of my medal on social media and slap that 13.1 sticker on my car. Even my brother is currently ziplining on a Caribbean cruise right now. He and his family caught the boat out of a port where I live. He lives out of state. I won't see him this trip. He comes to Florida regular, but they haven't been to my home in 5 years even when they are in my town.
          I never got married, so I was never lulled in to believing that I could rely on someone else for support. I have always been on my own. In some ways it was easier because I could always make decisions that put me first.
          Figure out your insurance problem. Maybe it was a filing mistake. Then we can look for corporate help with your meds. Some charities are set up specifically for this reason. I have one paying for a med that is about $50k a year. Some hospitals have patient advocates that do nothing but hunt down financial help for patients who need assistance paying for meds. See if your doctor knows anything about it.
          It feels overwhelming. Don't try to solve it all at once. It is too much. You just have to make the next right step.
          Hang in there.

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