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How do you know how many spoons you have?

I get the spoon theory - and it makes total sense to me. Except - it's kind of like other people know how many spoons they have, and I have noooo idea until all of a sudden, I realize, 'Woah, I'm out of spoons!' and collapse and do nothing for the rest of the day.

Sometimes this happens at 8AM, lol, other times at 10 - and sometimes, if I'm careful, I can eke out a whole day of doing very little without collapsing from exhaustion. Looking forward to hearing other ppl's spoon-hoarding & spoon-predicting strategies.

  1. Hi ! Thanks for your question 😀 I'm hopeful folks here will chime in with their experiences and how they're able to measure their spoons throughout the day.

    While you await some responses, I did want to point you in the direction of Rick's article on conserving spoons: https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/spoon-theory-reserving-energy/ It may help answer your question!

    Really appreciate how active you are here in our community. I love seeing your name pop up on the posts here! Let me know what you think if you read Rick's article.

    -Alesandra (RheumatoidArthritis.net Team)

    1. Thank you- It is a good article, and affirmed my decisions to give up the most demanding stuff in my life so I can function... I just don't ever know in advance how much oomph I'll have on any given day - so I tend to just "go" until I drop. Sometimes that's at 8Am and sometimes at 10AM lol but I just can't seem to find a balance. Anyway, hopefully someone has some ideas of how to gauge the amount of 'oomph' you have left before it's all gone.
      Thanks very much for responding 😀

      1. Hi . My wife, Kelly Mack (a contributor here), was diagnosed at age two, 45 years ago. She sometimes notes how even with a lifetime of RA she struggles with the pacing, so completely get what you are saying about about it taking into your 70s to realize it. I don't know if you have seen this article from our contributor Tamara on seeing the basket as half folded: https://rheumatoidarthritis.net/living/seeing-the-basket-as-half-folded. Sometimes it is good to celebrate what gets accomplished, as opposed to what doesn't get finished! Best, Richard (Team Member)

      2. thank you. I've always been a pusher..push through hard days, push through the pain, just push through and get it done. I started realizing pushing only made things worse in my 40's but did it anyways. Until my 60's is when I actually started to slow down just a little. Then I realized the chore I wanted to get done today was still there the next day so why was I so concerned about getting it done now. Today I'm grateful for what I can do and get done. The rest will still be there unless someone else does it, it'll still be there...lol

    2. I am struggling with spoons right now as I prepare to go on vacation. I've carefully scheduled walking activities (the aquarium) with sit down activities (a play), but I still worry I am going to ruin my vacation and my friend's by running out of steam.

      1. One thing about Vacation that I have found is that I seem to have more energy.....because I DON"T have to do all the cooking, planning, cleaning up, etc. ! I can just enjoy my vacation and relax as needed! Take a nap in the afternoon, sit and read for a few.... I hope that you are able to really give into the vacation mode and relax and enjoy!

      2. Hi . I know we traded messages about the Visible app. My wife, Kelly, and I just got back from a pretty activity intensive vacation (Disney World). Kelly used the app there to help monitor her energy/points. We did pace ourselves and do things differently than many might, but that was fine. Kelly has many of the same concerns you do, but I remind her that it's vacation and it is supposed to be enjoyable, so we'll do it in a way that is. Once in a while I will do something by myself (usually at Kelly's urging and more involving accessibility than energy, but still the idea of working together is the same). We've done trips with other people (Kelly loves to travel) and, as long as we are open and willing to compromise/flexible, it has worked. Also, I think there is definitely something to what said about energy (as well as about taking the steps you need to recharge). Away from regular day to day stresses, like the work, Kelly's energy is often better (the vacation recovery when back to work can be tough). Hoping you manage to have a good vacation and please feel free to ask additional questions (Kelly has focused a lot on travel with disabilities and medical conditions). Best, Richard (Team Member)

    3. I find that in the moment I forget how many spoons each activity takes. So I try to make note as it has occurred previously. So generally I know that showering is __ spoons. Shopping for groceries is__ spoons but using the electric cart is only __ spoons. If you don’t want to think in numbers then just think in words like- a few, a bunch, a crazy amount of spoons.
      Then… I wake up with __ spoons and know that I better use the drive up service because I have to spend __ (a bunch later on in PT.)
      So save optional things for the end of the day so you can postpone them.
      Hope that helps!

      1. Thanks for taking the time to share your take on the spoon theory! Glad you've found a way around it that works for you. I've personally never counted my daily spoons like that because each day is different. But it's worth a try. -Effie, team member

      2. Hi . I like the idea of thinking ahead on what activities are necessary vs. optional. Sometimes you know it is going to be one of those days to put some things off, but even when you don't, if you hold off on the optional items you can get the essentials completed in case things go sideways. Thanks for contributing to the conversation. Best, Richard (Team Member)

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