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"You Don't L๐Ÿ‘€K SICK"

I went through my early stages of rheumatoid arthritis surrounded by family that did not believe I was in pain. I had difficulty dressing and a (well meaning???) relative, proceeded to shove my ailing left arm into the shirt sleeve. I've learned since that my support needed to come from the 'outer circle' of folks. My rheumatologist, a paternal aunt, new friends who understood. It is amazing that the established, old relationships cannot sympathize nor understand 'the new you.' They see no change in us; therefore there IS no change. Meanwhile, we are boiling over in excruciating pain.
My new world consists of people who actually see me. Cutting off 'blind spot' thinking people has healed me mentally and physically; I no longer have to prove to them I'm in pain and I require special medical care. Oddly enough, I took care of their (family's) needs when they had aches, pains, eye troubles, etc. But when it came to me, the vessel was empty. They had no concern for my ailment.
I'm betting that plenty of people here, on this forum, are the primary caretakers of their tribes. I'm also betting that some of you have become invisible when your condition set in. I did.

  1. I'm the matriarch of the family. No one takes my pain seriously, except one daughter.

    1. I'm sorry that is really hard to handle - that feeling of not only trying to manage the pain from RA but then it not being taken seriously. Almost like being gaslit. I know it may not be exactly the same but know this community gets it and always will take your pain seriously. ๐Ÿ’œ - Reggie ( Team Member)

    2. thank you

  2. Sad isn't it.....

    1. I am sorry your family did not take RA seriously. As you surmise many of us have this same situation. I have been so blessed to have a loving caring wife and most of my family. Oh sure I have a couple of doubters who regard me as a whinny wimp, But I regard them in a way as well. I just cannot express those feelings in print. 😀


      1. know what you mean....๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™‚๐Ÿคฃ wishing you a good today and better tomorrow

    2. The not looking sick has been my conundrum. Iโ€™ve had people call the police on me for using disabled parking spaces. Sometimes it isnโ€™t worth the trouble trying.

      1. That is a scary experience! I am so sorry you had someone call the police. It's hard enough just trying to manage with RA and then to have that happen to you. It's hard. Is there a way perhaps your doctor could get you a pass to use for disabled parking? Either way - I hope you never have to experience that again. Thanks for sharing your story with us. - Reggie ( Team Member)

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