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How Are You Doing, Honestly?

Just offering a safe and supportive space for anyone to share how they're currently doing.

  1. Not so good. Wife has to have a second hip surgery (1st one got some kind of infection and hasn't ever fully healed (2-3 times a day changing dressings for the last 2 years). Eldest son is a 100% disabled vet (brain cancer). While the cancer appear to be stabilized, I've had to drive him everywhere because he's developed extreme nerve pain in his leg ( something is screwy with his back and the VA is just now figuring out we're serious about how bad it is). I'm left taking care of everything and I'm the one with RA!. Between the 3 of us you possibly could make one fully functional body, maybe. On the plus side 46 days until I retire....

    1. - as a person who needs some extra care from my husband I thank you for all of your caregiving! . As a recently retired person who is a caregiver for an adult child, I will share that it is so much easier to make healthcare appointments, get things done at home, and do self-care. You are an amazing family member and I wish you a better year ahead!

    2. , I just wanted to check in and see how you and your family are doing. I know you're getting closer to retirement; are you feeling pretty excited about that? Is your wife getting her second hip surgery before the end of the year? I hope your son is doing ok, too.


      Feel free to update us, if you feel comfortable doing so!


      Best, Erin, RheumatoidArthritis.net Team Member.


  2. Awful !
    Was in car accident Sunday
    Car is totaled
    Lucky to be alive
    But yet feel like a failure
    I’m due to start humira soon
    And am
    Very scared

    1. Oh, no! I am so glad you were not hurt, . You are certainly not failure! I have wrecked a couple cars in my lifetime. One was entirely my fault. I was too stressed and should not have been driving. The other was weather-related. So now, I don't drive when I am overly stressed and I only drive if it is absolutely vital in poor weather. We live and we learn. It happens to all of us at some point. If you are a failure, most every driver on the planet is a failure. In my experience, it takes a good three weeks to shake the fear and uncertainty that can overwhelmed you right after a car accident. So be gentle with yourself for a while. I hope Humira is effective and that you get some relief. Remember that you can always stop taking it if you have any negative effects, so there is no need to be scared. Best wishes. - Lori (Team Member)

    2. I was on Humira, weekly, for several years. It was the only medicine that helped most of my RA symptoms. It is scary but you will do well once you start the Humira. Good luck and let me know how it goes

  3. Thank you so much!! The replies mean so much . They truly do.
    I was stressed !!! Working as a visiting nurse has gotten more stressful for me . I have been wanting to leave the nursing profession for a while but I still need an income.
    It’s hard to admit things are more difficult for me now . Pain and my body’s inability to bend and move like it used to is hard to face .
    I’m also 55 …hitting a time in a woman’s life when things slow down and the weight I have put on is something I’m at battle with constantly.
    Thank you for letting me vent and express myself here.
    I will try the humira. Lori thank you again for your understanding words and encouragement
    Mimi (cape girl)

    1. You are so welcome. You can ALWAYS vent here and get things off your chest. So many here have been through a lot in all aspects of RA. So this is a safe space! Happy to have it for you and thanks for sharing. - Reggie, team member

    2. Hi . There are so many job opportunities for nurses that you might never have thought of and that might be easier on you. My sister-in-law, a retired nurse, works from home for a company that reviews nursing home complaints. They only hire nurses for the positions. She works only about 10 hours a week, but other nurses in the company work between 20 and 40 hours. Another nurse-friend works for a company that grades and administers tests for nurses. Her daughter works for the company as well and they are both full-time. You could work as a school nurse or, if you would rather not work full-time, you could substitute. A nursing degree is so valuable. You just have to be a bit creative when job hunting. I hope you find something that is less stressful both mentally and physically. Thinking of you. - Lori (Team Member)

  4. Thank you for such wise advice

    1. I do not mean to pile on but one nursing career that might be both fulfilling and is highly needed is school nurse. Elementary school nurses are so needed and depending on the person can give a person a wonderful second wind.

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